How to Maintain Individuality While in a Relationship

Hey Wanderers,

Back to more relationship fun with your favorite boot-wearing traveler. At the moment I’m writing this, my husband is off on a hunting trip and it got me thinking… how do you hold onto your individuality and create a solid partnership?

I’ve heard it a thousand times from people in relationships—I’ve said it myself—they always say they wish they had more ‘me’ time. Between kids, work, friends and trying to keep a healthy relationship going, when the hell does a person do their own thing? Well here’s what I’ve done to keep my individuality while being in a serious relationship.

Don’t forget your hobbies: I paint, read, watch movies, craft, landscape and write—job and hobby right there. We all have hobbies and they’re a part of who we are. If you don’t have any of your own that predate the person you’re now in a relationship with, explore some ideas, see if you find something you love. If your partner wants to join in, sure that could be fun! Just remember this is your hobby. Should you have hobbies you do together? Absolutely, that can help bring you closer, but don’t feel pressured to have too many common interests.

New painting of mine

Have separate spaces: This is harder for me in our RV but I have my writing spot on the couch and he has his computer spot, so it works. In a home you share it’s important to have a space that solely belongs to you. An art studio or study, a corner in the bedroom with a good reading chair, the garage or she-shed, or maybe the kitchen is your domain. Get creative and make a you space. No matter how big or small, you need a place where you can decompress and do your thing.

Me Dates: Oh yes that’s a thing. You gotta be comfortable dating yourself. Sounds weird right? It’s not. Ladies, get your nails done alone. Fellas, get you hair cut alone. See a movie alone, have a meal or take a drive alone. I enjoy grocery shopping alone, visiting bookstores and sometimes going for a walk. You don’t have to do everything alone—not everyone is weird and an introverted extremist like me—but at least every once in a while, just to get to know yourself better.

These three little things made a huge difference in my life once I started to do them. I’m happier and have grown to really appreciate my ‘me’ time and have really gotten to know myself as an individual. I hope this helps!

Until next time! Keep them boots wandering and stay tuned for more random adventure and advice!

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